Posts tagged

“forest”

If I were a hamburger you’d come and watch! I texted back a smiley face. She texted back some letters I don’t understand. My crotch is itchy.You’re right. I’m a firestarter and a jinx. I’m going to destroy this whole family. Your body. It’s an erotic friend fiction story that I just wrote. I hope…

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There’s a lot of carrots in that stew. Our toaster is also confused. It doesn’t know where bagels go. Buns…sen. I’m just not sure if I’ll be any good on the grill with one free hand.Gene, you saved us. I owe you my life. It’s an erotic friend fiction story that I just wrote. I…

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Bambi in Real Life

If I drunk text you and you’re asleep, don’t text me in the morning…that ship has sailed. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh You had me at horses, but then you lost me at corpses. I’m out of control. Buns…sen. Buns…sen. I had no idea there was so much butt touching in baseball. Thank you zombie boyfriends. I’m out of…

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How do you know a python ate it? Did it leave a note? I had no idea there was so much butt touching in baseball. My crotch is itchy. You won’t regret it, dad. When I kiss Jimmy Jr. under the disco ball, it’ll be like we’re all kissing Jimmy Jr under the disco ball.…

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